Saturday, February 28, 2009

So yesterday was the funeral.

Yesterday was harder than the showing. My daddy even cried! It was really sad to see hi brother cry. This man, whom I think was older than him just sobbed and sobbed. It was so sad.

He was also in the National Guard, so they had two Guardsmen come in and give a salute and do the flag thing...hahah I am not sure what it is called. It was actually quite amazing.

I felt so honored when I road in the procession. There were so many people at his funeral and so many people road in the procession. His brothers and my two uncles road in the 57' Chevy! That car is so fucking awesome. I still have the funeral tag in my car...hahaha.

Its weird now. I feel a little empty now that I have nothing to do.

I haven't worked all week because I have had to be with my family since Tuesday.

This whole thing has put a lot into perspective for me. Life is a beautiful thing and we shouldn't waste it. My grandpa was a world traveler and has been to SO MANY places. I hope that I can go to half the places he has been.

ARIZONA IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 26, 2009


Today was his showing and there were so many people there! About every hour there was a new wave of people walking in. It was crazy and my feet are killing me.

The funny thing is that it was his birthday today. We got him a card from the kids and the grand kids and then we got him a card from my grandma to him. My mom gave him her hole in one ball and I gave him an old golf ball.

When we first got there I could see the top of his head from the casket. When it was the family's time to go in there and see him and make sure he looked okay before people came I couldn't do it.

I freaked out and started crying and sat in the "family" room until every sat down. I eventually went up to his casket but I couldn't look for long.

I feel like tomorrow I will have to wait until everyone has left to say goodbye to him.

Its just weird to think that he isn't going to be at family functions anymore.

Mehh. So tomorrow is his funeral.

It's funny, a certain someone has not called in his condolences. That little bitch. I guess he tried out for the family but was too much of a pussy. OH WELL.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I love You Gammpy

My grandpa passed away this morning. It happened around 9:30 am and he went peacefully.

He passed at his home.

I got their around 1. I think I may still be in shock...with everything that has happened in the past two weeks.

Its hard to think that he is gone. Its hard to think that at every family function he wont be there.

Its hit me, but it hasn't fully hit me.

I don't have much to say...

I love you Gammpy and now you are with Brian. Your birthday is February 26th...that's in about 2 days..

I will bring some golf balls to put in your coffin on Thursday. Maybe we can put a golf club in there? Hahahah, no I am kidding, but I might bring you some golf balls...seriously.

Okay now I sound batty. I just love you and I will drive past your grave every day I work at Naked Tchopstix...and I will visit you too.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

I just wanted to put these up here now. Hospice said that he only had a couple of days left on Friday. My entire family is there right now and I wish i could be there. But seeing as how I work two jobs, take two classes and have to support myself, I can't be there.
I haven't been around grandpa when the entire family is there and that is what I really want. I know that my uncles and aunt and mom are not taking this very well and I know that my cousin Josh is having a hard time with it. Morgan lost her daddy when she was really young so I can only imagine that she isn't doing the best either. I feel like I have to carry this entire family happiness and well being on my back. That is a task I am willing to take. Who cares about what other people have done to me. A certain someone is out of my life and not apart of my family and I can only rejoice in the fact that I realized it before it was too late.

So I will keep my head high and keep on smiling because there is nothing that can bring me down.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Monday, Monday, Monday

Gah! I have so much to do on Monday...hahah.

To Do List:

1.) finish reading for ethics class.
2.) go to math class
3.) call the new apartment place and fill out the application there
4.) call the..."guy"
5.) call another guy who can give me more advice.
6.) go to ethics class.

It doesn't seem like much but I have like a 4 hour window to do these things in between math and ethics class.

But anyway, last night was fun. I feel like an asshole for showing up half way drunk but it was a good time none the less!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

21st floor

I know these are really small so check my flickr for them.

These aren't edited and I don't know if I want to edit them.

I would have to say that the this is one of the best views of Indianapolis that I have ever seen. Monument Circle is so beautiful and I could probably sit there for hours and just look at it.

I have the nicest dude ever. :)


Whats done is done.

I think it is funny that some people seem to think I still actually want to be with that little boy. I wish I did for you sake. You have much to learn. Hahahah, but I mean, if you want to blow this all off on "she is just a crazy ex-girlfriend" then go for it.
Your opinions do not matter to me anyway....but you can still keep reading my blog.

But, I don't have to worry about this anymore. It's been left in the hands of my lawyer.

Its time to laugh and live my life! Which is exactly what I am going to do! I have already started off on the right foot, getting rid of bad people in my life! :)

I am really really really excited to go to Arizona and I cannot wait! I can't wait to see Zach and Rob the most! I hear its beautiful out there and it's warm. The drive is the part I am most excited for! Such a long distance! I have never driven that far in my life and it should be interesting.

Tonight I am going downtown for a photo adventure! I am going to the top floor of the Sheraton Hotel to take photos of the Indianapolis Skyline. We all know that it's my specialty.

Expect photos later.